A Very Chinese Summer Vacation. Part 1

Bare with me while I catch up on all my adventures (both of them) and try to find my voice as well as a regular posting schedule.

I had a lot of time off before my next trip. Well, maybe only two weeks, but when you’re doing nothing it goes by slowly.

I spent a lot of time watching movies that had come out while I’ve been in China, losing the weight I gained in Yángshuò, stumbling around the internet, dreaming of starting a business in China or opening a brewery in ND… when I should have been writing!

Second week in August: I went to the ticket counter with my Chinese sister only to find out that they didn’t have the sleeper that I wanted (for some reason all the trains I take leave at night). But I had a hotel reservation for the next night so I had to take the last hard seat ticket. For those of you who don’t know, “hard seat” is exactly what it sounds like. For added comfort, the seats are shaped like an “L”, no reclining! My ride lasted for 10 hours, arriving at 7am. I can’t say it was a horrible experience but my back hurt for the next 2 days. I definitely learned from it, book ahead and get a sleeper!

Not everything about hard seats is terrible; it’s a great way to meet new people (if you can understand them). The guy next to me was very friendly, tried to teach me a card game, commented on how strong I looked, and pulled on the chest hair sticking out of my shirt. Yes, most Chinese don’t have a lot of body hair… perhaps he wanted to know if it was fake?

The seats look like this and yes, people sleep anyway they can.

(The pictures included aren’t mine, I don’t have a working camera. All obtained via Google Images.)

I got off the train in Shēnzhèn and, because I hate taxis, I decided to walk until I found my way. My previous theory of following buses and people didn’t work in this city of 14 million. I thought I could still find my way. Keep walking, see a McDonald’s, and decide to turn away from it. After 30 minutes of walking I finally looked at the bus stops for any signs of help. I noticed signs for the metro (what I was looking for) above some stops. But I was walking the wrong way to the closest metro stop. After 30 minutes more I passed by a familiar business sign, “EF”. This was a company I recognized from high school that offers people a chance to study abroad. I walked past at first thinking I can just keep following the bus signs, but on second thought I go in and see if anyone speaks English. Of course, the woman at the front desk spoke perfect English. Though I didn’t get on the bus she told me to take, as the metro was only two stops away. Along the way, I pass right by the McDonald’s I was near earlier. Which leads me to my new way of finding mass transportation and popular locations, follow the McDonald’s. I found the metro perfectly but after the ride it took me another hour or two to find my hotel. I stayed at the Hanting Inn in Luōhú, which had to be the cheapest hotel in the area and with small but great accommodation (three in one, shampoo/conditioner/body wash, in the shower!).

I spent two days in Shēnzhèn walking around the city. Shēnzhèn was the first declared Special Economic Zone (SEZ, basically a way for the government to flirt with capitalism while remaining communist) in 1980 when it had a population of a quarter-million. I quickly found out that the city is actually one massive shopping mall. There is one building in the SEG electronics market that is 10 stories of computer parts!

Peter2 finally joined me to immediately head into Hong Kong. I derailed those plans and talked him into eating supper in Shēnzhèn because I had found the most delicious spicy pigs’ lungs (seriously delicious), we also sampled a dry hot-pot (I think the place was called “Chili”, maybe the 4th floor, in King Glory Plaza).

Just before leaving the city we tried to secure our transport out of the area. After two wrong ticket counters and an hour of waiting we found out they only book four days in advance… we’d have to wait. This didn’t bode well.

From my previous days of walking I saw signs saying “Hong Kong” and an arrow. So, we decided to walk into HK. Chinese Immigration>HK Immigration>HK metro. It was just that easy. Except that we had to change currency to buy a metro ticket (HKD44!) for an hour-long ride complete with 2 transfers. Ok, maybe two hours after we “left” China we were in the actual city.

We found the hostel (Hong Kong Hostel) easy enough and tried to settle in. But for the night, thanks to the hotel manager not reserving the correct room, we would have to share a bed. The first room was awkward; it was like renting a room in someone’s house. The second room was much better, besides two beds, it had wonderful amenities like an actual shower (not one of the “your bathroom IS a shower” types). We completely wasted the first day because we had no plans at all. I think the highlights were finding the most delicious coffee chain (Pacific Coffee Company, “The Perfect Cup”, they hold true to their motto), buying beer at a 7-Eleven (they’re everywhere in HK), and buying Cuban cigars.

…come to think of it, we really didn’t have any plan for HK before we got there. A lot of it was spent taking the metro and walking around the city (enough walking to permit blisters). The most annoying part of this was that every metro stop would lead you straight into a mall. So, after waiting on the metro for however long, you’d have to walk by the same expensive stores, mall after mall. There were some parts of the city that were very interesting, like Soho, that had endless bars and quaint restaurants, Midlevel escalators (longest outdoor covered escalator system in the world), and the area around the Walk of the Stars.

We managed to do the two most touristy things while visiting, riding a cable car up to the Giant Buddha and the Peak Tram. The cable car had great views of the airport, some scenery, and endless apartment buildings in the distance. When you reach the top, you’re in luck, a strip mall that weaves a path to a courtyard. Pass the courtyard of famous warriors, turn a corner, go upstairs and see the glorious, historic… 25-year-old Buddha. Maybe it’s the Subway restaurant at the bottom of the hill that made me cynical but, this seems like it was built for me to spend money. Word of advice, the water at the top of the Buddha is less expensive than at Subway. If I were to do this again, I would have hiked one way up to the Buddha and taken the cable car down. They give you the option to have a “crystal cabin”, where you can look through the floor of your car. We did this novelty, but you don’t see much below your feet.

Ohhh, look at the tower and trees!

The Peak Tram is the “Number One Tourist Sight in Hong Kong” and the lines proved it. Fortunately, it was only an hour wait. The tram is actually quite fun. It goes at such a steep angle that you’ll lean far enough forward to think you’re even with the ground and see buildings that aren’t on that level. And when you reach the top, of course, a mall (at least here, if you don’t like the one you land in, there’s another close by). We should have spent more time in this area, walking around in the parks but my feet were killing me, so we ate some poutine and got back in line to go down the tram.

"Gravity Defying"

The other highlight in HK was the food. It was all so delicious, like the curry at Rice Paper (“Today’s Vietnam” …I’m a sucker for slogans) or the curry anywhere (turns out, I love curry), but what hit the spot for me was the restaurant with NY deli sandwiches and Dr. Pepper.

English books are scarce in our city (correction, province) but not in HK. We spent many hours looking around Dymocks, a chain from Australia. I tried to find card games and Peter2 toyed with the idea of bringing back books that are probably banned in Mainland China.

While in one of these bookstores, a guy approached us and gave us a little flyer about a pub crawl. We had no other plans so we decided to tag along. I wore a hockey t-shirt because that’s the easiest way to find the Canadians and Northerners. I actually ran into two women from Winnipeg who know my friend’s sister and another girl from Minneapolis. We also chatted with some very interesting guys from Australia, England, and a couple of others who protested my Calgary Flames shirt.

The problem with HK is that it’s an expensive city, especially since we’re teachers in Guǎngxi (low pay). I feel terrible spending HKD300 on a meal (HKD48 for the water since they only have bottled) or HKD66 for a draft beer, knowing that I can have a delicious meal back in Yulin for Y7 and be full (though Tsingdao for Y3.5 isn’t my kind of beer).

Our other problem with money we had is that Peter2 lost his bank card and couldn’t get cash out of his account, so we had to try to make MY funds last for the rest of the trip. I’m totally against going to American restaurant chains in China but I settled with Subway one night as a cheaper option.

The original plans were to stay in HK for a week but after three days of expensive meals we decided to leave a day earlier. This was a pain in my ass trying to explain to the hostel how much to give me back since I paid for seven nights (they were “generous” enough to return HKD50 for not giving me the correct room the first night).

After living in Guǎngxi and a less populated city, Hong Kong seemed completely different, totally western. No jaywalking, no smoking in many public areas, no spitting, sit-down toilets, anti-drug advertisements, regularly cleaned handrails, taxi queues, no one searching through garbage cans for bottles… this wasn’t the China I had grown to love.

If you go to Hong Kong, have a plan. Do/see what you want to and get out! (Unless you’re rich)

To Macau: It was either: leave HK for a day trip in Macau, then head to Shēnzhèn to get a hotel OR  to go to Shēnzhèn, secure a hotel and train tickets, drop off the bags, then go to Macau and then back to Shēnzhèn. To be safe, we chose the latter. This seems trivial to include but go with it…

After crossing back into China, they make a mark on my visa. Noticing that this is exactly what they did when I arrived back in February with my temporary visa, I compare my visa with Peter2’s. Turns out, mine is only valid for a single entry, not what I was promised by my boss. If I leave China again, I can’t come back. Macau’s out of the option.

The train to Nánjīng: there’s a site online through which one can see if certain train tickets are available. I checked this before we left HK and it didn’t look good. Maybe, just maybe, we can leave a day later and then get a hard sleeper. At the ticket counter there were no available seats for the next day, standing room only. The day after that, still just standing room. A day more, hard seats. We decided to take the train for ten hours, find a hotel in Wuhan, then get another train the next day. But I couldn’t explain this well enough… we were booked on a 25-hour hard seat (Y236).

Two more days in Shēnzhèn. It was cheaper and calming. Though we still had delicious coffee and spent a night outside one smoking our cigars we bought in HK (coffee and cigars are one of the best combinations, the other being bleu cheese and red meat). We had an amazing hot-pot at Little Sheep (chain restaurant, all over China, even in Canada and the US!). Since the Universiade games happened to be going on in the city at this time we also decided to check out team USA play. The only sport they were participating in while we were free was women’s water polo against Russia. After a 40 minute metro ride and 20 minutes of walking we found out the game was sold out. Great. We decided to do the next most American thing, Wal-Mart. We bought Cheetos (no cheese flavor here but steak, turkey, and milk), instant ramen, and other health foods for the train ride.

25 hours: We find our seats; I am in a row of two, next to a window. Peter2 is in a row of three in the middle. A woman across from Peter2 offers me her seat. I accept and immediately regret it. Now, I have nothing to lean on and more people have to leave before I get the row to myself.

The first 12 hours of the train ride were mostly uneventful. Around hour ten we start to play a movie (District 9) before everyone starts to sleep. Turn the laptop toward the aisle, crank the volume, switch on the Chinese subtitles, and get a crowd of ten surrounding our row (I imagine some were frustrated because of a skip near the end of the movie).

My favorite thing to do while riding long distances? Sleep. Melatonin is great but it’s too bad it doesn’t make you sleep in all circumstances. The woman who had a lump in her throat every minute, getting it out with a large *AHEM*; the men conjuring out their tar infested spittle; the babies crying; and the people whose mobile phones have an apparent low-volume microphone will all keep you awake.

Hour 18, a light at the end of the tunnel. A major stop has just happened. Many people are upgrading their seats to the now vacant sleepers. Standing, arms crossed, I stare in longing contemplation. Peter2’s row is now empty; he lay down to encompass the three seats, fetal position and his feet are still going into the aisle (he’s around 6.5 feet). The boy in the yellow Indiana basketball shirt to the left of me leans his head up to see the line for sleepers has depleted. No one is turned down, there might be more available. He gets upgraded. I watch his ticket being replaced and position myself across two seats. There’s only one person to go and I know he’s not going to the end of the line; he’ll have to get off soon.

Hour 19, I have three seats to myself and finally get some real sleep.

We woke up around hour 23. This was already 13 hours longer than my last hard seat and my back didn’t hurt. I was ecstatic to say the least. We spent the last two hours recalling the most annoying moments of the night.

It’s odd to think that a 10-hour hard seat would hurt my back more than a 25-hour ride. But, like I said, I learned my lesson after the first voyage. During my first trip, I spent most of the time sitting and adjusting positions to keep my ass from going sore, only getting up to urinate. On the second hard seat I spent at least 4 hours standing. My advice, stand as much as you can, stand until you’re tired, it’s better than having an aching back.

Nánjīng for a day: With the last train ticket debacle fresh in our memory, purchasing tickets was first on our agenda, besides meeting up with our friend. If only my cell phone didn’t run out of money! I conjured up the Mandarin for telephone and, thankfully, without much of a wait, met up with our host, the wonderful Nichole. There were two ways we could get our next tickets, wait in line at the train station or go to a proxy ticket office. We opted for the proxy. This time, there were actually tickets left! The down side, they were first class. Why is this negative? The trip is only six hours long (fast train) and it costs, Y600, almost three times what the 25-hour train cost. We have reservations for the next night; we had to take these tickets.

First Class! The seats actually recline.

Needless to say this leg of the trip was a breeze. First class was great (the first time I’ve ever traveled first class on anything) but it was not worth it. For Y200 less, the second class is just as good, it still beats traveling on a hard seat!

Next post: Qīngdǎo, back to Nánjīng,  and a layover in Wǔhàn on the way home.

Summer Warm-up

I haven’t been hiding for the past four months. It’s just that electronics I own, hate me. My computer will no longer start up, my camera and shaver won’t turn on either.

It’s been some time but let me try to update as best as I can.

In May (I think) Jeff and I had 3 days off because of a holiday and went to Běihǎi, only a 2 hour bus ride south of Yùlín, along the coast of the Gulf of Tonkin. Well, the 2 hour bus ride turned out to be 4 hours and constantly jerky (apparently lot of sudden construction and slow drivers). Beihai is a small city, but supposedly the fastest growing city in the world (though I suspect it’s one of those self-appointed titles that every town in China has, just like every city has the most beautiful girls), like the rest of China, it shows. We took a taxi (though we later found out a bus that makes the same route) to Huǒshāochuáng Wǔxiàng, an area that has cheap places to stay, and were dropped off at a hotel. After finding out the rates were over our budget, we went outside turned a corner and found ourselves a zhāodàisuǒ, simple guest house, for about Y150 for 2 nights with A/C! The first night we walked around and ate a western restaurant called LaiLai Tommy’s on Wàishā Island. It was good enough to warrant a second visit the next night, most likely due to the fact we haven’t had western food in many months (burritos, pizza, hamburgers, homemade beer!). The next day we decided to something the Lonely Planet guidebook suggested, “a fun day trip” to Wéizhōu Island. Right away the book was wrong, instead of a slow or fast boat there was only one option to get there, Y180 for an hour or so fast ferry. The ferry to the island had some problems. During the first hour, it would start and stop, then just sit in the water. The worst part is that the waves were  making everyone sick, plastic bags were going around as fast as they could be found. The smell of the stuffy air was one thing, the sounds of almost everyone losing their lunch was another. That combination almost made me want to vomit as well, though Jeff and I were the only two in our row that didn’t.

We figured this would be a round trip ticket because it was a volcanic island and shouldn’t have too much on it. Wrong. Another Y180 for a return ticket. There are resorts on the island, apparently it’s quite a destination for rich Chinese. Lonely Planet also failed to mention that it costs Y90 just to gain entrance to the island! Already, we were out Y300 more than we wanted and running out of pocket money fast. Next, we had to get a ride from the ferry terminal to some of the scenic spots and a tout had said she would take us around the island for Y100, to this we agreed. BUT, she dropped us off at a tourism office and said she couldn’t bring us to the sights we wanted, instead we had to pay Y20 for an electric cart to drive us. So, we had a fit with her (questioning why we were paying her in the first place), called a Chinese friend to shoo her away, we settled on paying her Y30 to leave us. After much consideration, we decided to pay for the electric cart which turned out to be absolutely unnecessary as it was only a 5 minute ride. We walked around the “scenic” parts while also getting sun burnt. After the return cart ride back we finally decided to just go swimming, walking down to the shore. I was so tempted to get a fresh coconut and drink it on the beach but we needed the remainder of the money to take a tuk tuk back to the port. We swam one at a time to make sure our things weren’t stolen (a camera, though we couldn’t take many pictures because the heat drained the battery). Finally we had to return and pleaded, with some confusion (apparently I was too wet, so the driver toweled me off a bit with my own shirt) a driver to accept our last, wet Y20 (I forgot to take my wallet out of my shorts), a fare much lower than usual.

This Y180 “fun day trip” Lonely Planet mentions turned out to be a Y500+ nightmare. Had I known the real cost of the trip I wouldn’t have done it. If I wanted to go to the island I would have stayed at a hotel, rent a jet ski, drink coconuts on the beach, and visit the old Catholic church on the island (because of time/money constraints we couldn’t see it). I guess that will be the last time I blindly trust Lonely Planet when they mention a destination in a quip.

In June, all four of us (Peter1, Peter2, Jeff and I) went to Nánníng (2.5 hours, bus), the capital of Guǎngxi because Peter1 had a Chinese speaking competition and to visit another teacher, Kayla (who had visited us earlier). The trip didn’t include any big events as it was only for 3 days, but included a western restaurant (of course) and buying delicacies we don’t have in Yulin, bleu cheese, spaghetti sauce, and salami (I already had spaghetti and later, it made for a delicious meal). There was a foreigner party, which was weird to think that there were more westerners in this room than in my whole city. We were also able to buy some pirated DVD’s at Y6 a disc. In an odd note, I wasn’t present but was told there was another person from the same state as me was in the competition.

In July myself and 4 friends teaching on the east coast, went the most beautiful place in China, Yángshuò. To get there we first had to get to Guìlín. I took a 6 hour train and arrived before everyone else, so I decided to walk around the city until their bus came. The problems with this was that I didn’t really know where I was, how to get into the city, and that I was 4km away (I didn’t realize this until later). I basically followed a street where a lot of buses were driving. I turned off briefly to try another route but I noticed the buses weren’t as common and the foot traffic was less also, so I turned back. The street I was on turned out to be the exact street I was looking for (streets in China aren’t very well labeled). I kept walking past parks, deciding not to go in any in case we visited them later and because they all cost money. I had plenty of time so I stopped, had pizza, 2 beers, and met an American living in the area who told me about a 4th of July party happening that night (which we couldn’t find). Finally I got a call from my friends and they told me where to meet them. Now I had to find where I was again, this time in the city. With the help of 2 high school girls I was able to find the area we were meeting (though WADA Hostel, which was awesome, where we met was a little harder to find). I must have walked 8km with my backpack that day. We spent that night in Guilin drinking German beer outside and were blatantly offered sex after the bar closed… Our day in Guilin didn’t convince us to stay any longer so we booked a “bamboo raft” down the Li River (through WADA) to Yangshuo the next day.

We were with a bunch of other foreigners (my favorite being a pair of Kiwi’s that were moving to Canada) on what should have been named “PVC pipe rafts”, but our rafts were more genuine than most other tourists who were inside massive boats, eating. Our guide could only speak one word of English, “Hello”. So, he would yell this at us whenever he wanted us to do anything.  During our ride, “Hello” meant, “get back on the boat” as well as, “put on your life jackets”. The scenery is beyond words. My camera still worked at that time so I have a few photos. The rafts took us to a designated place to eat along the river (that’s how they make money), to a landing, and then a 30 minute bus ride to Yangshuo. From the bus station we took a pointless taxi, turned out to be a 5 minute walk away, to the pedestrian area. Our first hostel didn’t have any vacancies so we went next door to Showbiz Inn which turned out to be cheap and amazing. Yangshuo is simply a small, culture-less town with beautiful scenery, and the most visited domestic destination for the Chinese people. There were a good number of westerners there but there were far more Chinese tourists (with their heavy Beijing accents). The town has many cuisines to choose from and we tried quite a few. My favorite was the garlic bacon cheese bread at Kelly’s Cafe (probably why I gained almost 10lbs on this trip). The pedestrian streets are lined with restaurants, cafes, and shops (which can be a good deal if you’re willing to/can bargain) We had two big excursions, a mud cave and renting bikes (both booked through Showbiz). The mud cave is pretty much what it sounds like. You go in a cave, play in mud, rinse off, and go into a hot spring (probably fake). We got a picture of our muddy human pyramid as a souvenir.  On our biking day trip, we probably biked around 10km, trying to find a place along the river that wasn’t filled with touts selling water guns. Though we eventually found a location, it still had some touts that could speak one word of English, “bamboo”. They were selling bamboo raft rides. Along side our swimming hole were a couple rafts with cormorants (quite simply, these birds have strings tied around their throats so they can’t swallow bigger fish, the birds do the fishing for you), but we didn’t watch the birds fish (it would cost money).

My friends were going on to Chéngdū next and I wanted to join them (I later found out that I could have) but I had to get back to Yulin because my school was still in session (turns out it’s always in session). I booked a sleeper for the train ride back (the lady who sold me my ticket said I didn’t need one, but I insisted) and I’m glad I did, as the train had problems. It was an hour late to depart and arrive. Much like a previous bus and boat ride, this train was also spastic! At least this time I was lying down and sleeping.

General word of advice from the train station, don’t wear sandles while urinating in trough style restroom.

On a final unrelated note, China never ceases to amuse me. One morning, while walking to my friends apartment early in the morning (to watch the Stanley Cup final), I was able to witness an older gentleman riding his bike with no hands, a radio blasting music in the front basket, and to this music he’s doing hula-like movements with his arms…

Outdoor Sauna

Along with showering in the evening, I have added another new ritual to my daily routine: sweating. In fact, I can’t get enough of it. If there’s not a fan on me, I sweat all day long. Sitting, standing, anything stationary or moving, I am simultaneously sweating. I do have a fan on me at all times in my room and before I go to bed I put on the air conditioning for an hour or two. What scares me the most is that this is only beginning of summer. Forget the constant 90 degrees and terribly humid weather right now, I am told it will get worse.
The humidity has got to be the worst part of it, it feels like a second cousin is hugging you all day, you don’t really know them that well and it’s just awkward. I’ve taken a cue from Peter2 (from Pittsburgh) and ditched the khaki shorts as much as I can, they just hold in too much humidity, making one feel miserable as well as damp from sweat. Instead of the khakis I’ve resorted to sport shorts. But I still have the problem of all my cotton t-shirts (I can see the color drain from them after being washed… don’t drink the water), they become damp as well. I only brought one sport top from home, as I only had one. But now I know I will need to buy more so that I don’t have to keep washing my clothes after wearing them for one day.

If you think that’s bad, try going to the gym in this heat! There are no fans in the building and no a/c. I bring a towel with me to keep the sweat from annoying me but if I use the towel constantly it would be drenched after an hour. Needless to say, my boxers are unsalvageable after working out.

I think the weather is taking a toll on me, some days I feel constantly lethargic. I can understand why people here take naps, being outside (because most don’t have cars), in the sun, or even inside with no a/c drains ones energy (perhaps I’m spending it all on trying to keep cool).

I brought Peter1 (from California) to where I went sightseeing with 300 kids, this time it was only 150 or so and much more manageable. I brought him for one reason and one reason only, go karts. Unfortunately, it rained that day. Fortunately, it cleared up and we were able to go around the track for a bargain of 10RMB per lap (a little sarcasm). We took three laps. The worst part of this experience was that the track wasn’t completely dry, and the go karts didn’t protect one from what the tires kicked up. I learned my lesson after the first lap.

Two weeks ago I went an hour north of Yulin to go up a mountain. I don’t think I will do it again, the combination of the terrible road making the bus rock back and forth, and the constant honking made me want to vomit. But up above the clouds (I think they were just low clouds) we saw a waterfall and went rafting. The pictures of rafting from the brochure makes one think that you’ll start rafting just at the bottom of the waterfall. Of course, not the case. We went into a man made course of chutes. This doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun but it lacked the adrenaline rush, the “my life is in danger” fun. It basically gets you completely wet from huge splashes when you hit the end of the chute.

It’s in public bathrooms in the summer that I feel the worst. The specific moment? A mosquito biting my leg while relieving myself.

Like everyone else, I have good and bad days. Days I don’t get enough sleep, don’t get to shower, or when the students are straight from hell. Sometimes I’ll be teaching and one brilliant pupil has the almighty knowledge of the American middle finger, of which they will intermittently present to me. Or the children that can’t separate themselves from the electronic device in their hands.

Other times the students can be very enjoyable and cute. For some reason, this exchange brought me to laughter today:

Student: “Do you like Justin Bieber?”

Me: “No.”

S: (with sigh) “But his songs are so wonderful.”

Most of the children are adorable and attentive but there are some classes that make me want to run away (such is life).

Sometimes one tries new things without seeing them coming. Last weekend I was invited by my waiban to enjoy some lamb (apparently this lamb is supposed to be very healthy for you). I enjoy lamb, specifically when over the grill, the lamb we had was boiled in a pot in the middle of the table (because the Chinese love soup, even in hot weather).

Oh, speaking of hot meals in this weather… imagine it being 90 degrees outside, humid, you’re in a small room, around a table that seats ten but they managed to “fit” 14 people around it, eating soup, drinking hot tea, and eating spicy food. It’s like some kind of torture. I had to take multiple breaks to stand in front of the air conditioning unit.

Back to my original story, I found out after the meal that it was lamb placenta. I was told during the meal that it was “lamb before it has been born” so I originally thought it was lamb fetus. It didn’t taste particularly different and I didn’t mind after finding out but I don’t think I’ll rush back for it any time soon. Another odd food I’ve recently tried, fish scales (the fish equivalent of pork rinds).

Second Base

Sitting here, sipping on my regular flavored fake milk and wishing I had more dried mangoes, I can think of many things I’d rather be doing other than writing this post.

Today was the first day it actually rained, down poured. Otherwise it was just a mist, sprinkling, or magic.

My boss keeps telling me I have to work hard but I don’t quite understand what she means. I took some initiative the other day and told her I wanted to organize the school better along with getting rid of some of the rats (because there is no way of getting rid of all of them). But I don’t think I said this correctly, because the next day everyone but me was going through some of the junk lying around and doing what I had proposed. However, the school still needs a lot of work (rats).

I’m finally done with the first lesson! It took me two and a half months but I went to almost every class and introduced myself. My second lesson started out terrible but I tweaked it into a much better one. It starts out with children naming whatever they can on the body and face. Then try to move any of the said parts (many cannot move their eyebrows). I go off the path and ask what animals they can look or sound like and finish it with “Head, shoulders, knees, and toes” until they do it so fast they fall down.

It costs 800RMB for 13 months of gym membership, so I did it. It roughly equals $10 a month. Now I just need to wake up early and go!

Last week I made bastardized Italian food. The spaghetti was cooked for me (he threw in an egg with the pasta, I don’t know why), I cut up a clove of garlic (which was far too large for one bowl, garlic burps almost made me sick), added some olive oil (expensive here!), and topped it off with hot pepper jack cheese. It was so-so. I don’t think I’ll have a craving for that again soon. Food I have a huge craving for: cream based soups.

My Chinese is getting better each day, I need to practice more. People say my Chinese is good but I think that’s because they don’t see too many foreigners. I understand better in some situations, like when talking about food. There are more and more times when I can understand what children are saying. My teacher is a wonderful person who likes to be called my sister and has a love of languages, but I fear that I am learning feminine Chinese from her. For example, “cute” in Mandarin is “hǎo kěài” and that’s how one would say it normally. But the way she says it, with a feminine touch, is, “hǎo kěài oh”. I’m sure the teachers will make fun of me if I sound feminine enough which will be my cue to change.

It is terribly easy to be immensely discouraged by the progress, or lack thereof, of ones spoken Chinese. I went into a supermarket about a month ago and asked for a very simple and widely used item, tea. Tea in Mandarin is chá. But, I was saying “chā” which means “insert”. It was as if the store caught on fire. I talked to four different employees and one eventually fetched a guy who “spoke” English, it took him two minutes to say, “How can I help you?” though was equally confused when I said, “chā” to him. Don’t fret! I found my tea, by walking around. There are plenty of moments like these when one feels absolutely mentally challenged (notice how politically correct that was?). I read an article online discussing why one shouldn’t neglect the tones, which is what I was doing (and I heard it helped others), but the argument was clear and made sense: basically the Chinese don’t interact with many foreigners or people who don’t speak their language well.

There are so many different products in the Chinese supermarkets and I’m doing my best to try all of them, be it food or toiletries. I just bought beer shampoo and fruit punch toothpaste. There was a box of toothpaste with a picture of a beer mug on it. I don’t know if it’s beer flavored or if it gets rid of that alcoholic taste in your mouth. (I brought with a translator, apparently you get a free beer mug by buying the toothpaste.)

I went on a beer binge. No, not drinking, but buying. I had to find something better than the most popular beers (Tsingtao and Liquan). I must have tried over 20 beers and most are quite disappointing. My favorite so far: NAALE Old Guarder: Unadulterated USA Beer. Maybe it tastes better just because it’s the only beer with “USA” on it.

Have you ever walked into a bar and become instantly popular, getting free drinks, the most beautiful girls, and all the attention of the staff? Me neither. Oh, I’m sorry, until last Thursday.

On a beer exploring day, my friend, Jeff and I went into a bar in search of a better Chinese beer or perhaps beer in general. We saw this bar earlier in the week and just wanted to see how it was. Having no money, we asked the bar if they accepted bank cards. They didn’t so, we proceeded to leave. The staff went crazy and we were told by gestures to wait. A lady who seemed like the floor manager kept talking but I didn’t understand a word because the music was too loud (oh, and because I don’t speak Chinese), I thought I understood that we would get one beer for free. What came was a bucket of 12 beers and dancers/singers that worked at the bar. Yes, I walked into a bar, threatened to leave and was treated with instant friends, drinks, a fruit bowl, and a shot of whiskey (I could have done with out the whiskey, I had to eat a lot of fruit after that to maintain my composure). We shared our new found booty with our new found friends, they were happy to partake. We later met the person who paid for our night (worth maybe 400RMB or more) and did our best to thank her in Chinese fashion. I only regret one thing that night, dancing on the stage with Jeff.

Last Saturday was a day filled with sightseeing… with 300 kids in 13 buses. Each kid brought along a grocery bag filled with snacks for such a wonderful day. Some had on visors with a small solar panel connected to a fan pointed at their face because it was hot and sunny. On the bus ride there the kids ate some of the snacks they brought. At the destination there was a little shop where they could buy more food and we had a half-hour rest so they could eat. Then we went in a medium sized circle up a hill, near a reservoir and some trees, along the way they would eat and throw the wrappers down. They then played tug-of-war and everyone got a drink, chips, and candy for participating. We got back to the starting point and they started to eat more snacks, waiting for lunch to be dished out. Most were disappointed with the meal so they had more snacks. Next was an obstacle course that took more than an hour because there were too many kids going too slow. The kids were throwing wrappers everywhere with out care, because there are people who get paid to come along and pick these things up (at least in the cities). There are pictures up of the aftermath. It’s a bit saddening to see. At least on the obstacle course they couldn’t eat and on the bus ride home they were too tired. The shocking moment for me was seeing a kid holding up a beer proudly towards me. I mentioned this to one teacher, she said, “What? It’s not [hard alcohol].” I guess that’s what happens with no drinking age.

I went on a last minute trip to Liuzhou, four hours north of me by train, to meet up with some friends (last minute because I heard a friend from Shanghai, almost a day away by train, was coming). I got a hard seat for 24RMB, it’s as comfortable as it sounds. The seat has not recline at all and there is a little table so that one can rest their elbow (just the elbow!) on it and dig their head in for whatever rest one can get. The trip went faster than I expected because I was able to snooze a little, perhaps because it was night. My friend Charlie sent me directions to the bar they were at, so I stood around waiting for a free taxi. One guy asked me if I needed a taxi and I asked him where it was, he pointed to a black car that didn’t have any taxi marks, so I politely declined. Another taxi comes by and I show him the directions, he yells at me, “30RMB” (keep in mind that these encounters are completely in Chinese… you do keep that in mind, right?). I agree, knowing that it is expensive but I don’t know how far away it is. I call Charlie from the cab and tell him that I’m on my way, mentioning the expensive fair, he says it shouldn’t be more than 10. Charlie waits for me outside and confronts the driver when we pull up. He asks the driver why he doesn’t have the meter running and then instructs me to give the driver 15RMB and to get out, the driver just keeps saying “30”. I take out the 15, give it to him and begin to get out. The driver counts the money, repeats the previously agreed amount, sees me opening the door, and begins to drive away. I get out completely, there is no real danger, just a surge of adrenaline. Having good manners, I still close the door for him. Charlie says there are cops nearby, so he was not worried about anything, the cabbie is lucky to get the 15.

Liuzhou is a beautiful city, lit up buildings (the most lit up was the Confucius temple), an underground strip-mall that looks like it never ends, and even a mall in a cave. The food was excellent, including their famous river snail soup (fun fact: river creatures are eaten here because of the large river that goes through the city). We climbed a nearby hill and I took some pictures from there. This trip taught me I can’t go more than four days without a shower.

I’ve been taking separate photos of skylines but just recently I found software that stitches them together! There is a new album with just these pictures and more will come now that I know what I’m doing.

In order to save time, only photos of scenery will be uploaded to Picasa (linked to on the left), all will be uploaded to Facebook. However, Facebook isn’t able to store the panoramic pictures, so those will only be on Picasa. I hope you understand.

Nothin’ But Net

If you know me well enough, you know that I rarely get mad. Well, at this moment I am fuming. I just woke up with three mosquito bites on my neck (there’s one directly on my Adam’s apple. That shouldn’t be possible!), one on my shoulder, and the sound of another mosquito in my ear. I am getting a net for my bed today or I am starting a fire to suffocate these bastards.

They’re not a huge problem in my room (I can’t see them, if I could, they’d be dead), but they seem smarter than the ones back home. These ones fly away at the slightest disturbance and only come at me when I’m sleeping. I’m at the point where I either want to put on a Kevlar vest and hit something or go to a corner and hold a teddy bear while rocking back and forth.

Belly Button Bonanza

Sitting here, munching on my dried jackfruit, drinking my two different flavored milks (oat and peanut), scratching my mosquito bites, and taking my malaria pill, I can’t think of anything better than to write a post for ya’ll.

The warm weather has finally come to Yulin. I am wearing shorts everyday and still sweating, I have switched to drinking cold water, and the blanket on my bed is a beach towel. The days have become quite hot and sometimes very humid, it can  feel like an armpit in Georgia or that someone is constantly hugging you. But as long as the humidity is low the days, and especially the nights, are very nice. I’m thinking I need to set up a lemonade stand.

One belief/practice by some Chinese men is to lift their shirt so as to expose the belly so that the heat can escape, or to just keep their stomach cooler. As you can presume, it’s a bit odd to see. There are some other peculiar habits the Chinese have, like showering at nights.  Many thought the nuclear accident in Japan would somehow create a shortage of salt (because it is so close to the sea), supermarkets were sold out of salt for a few days. They will Answer the question, “Don’t you have salt?” like “Yes (that statement is true)” Whereas, Americans would answer, “No, I don’t”.

The heat, sweating, and pollution then sticking to the wet skin adds a terrible feeling to the day. Which is why the Chinese shower at night! Showering in the morning is a daily habit, driven into my head from the beginning. Need the morning shower to wake up and look well-presented for that day, you know the drill. And this still was my habit, until I had to switch my bed covering (to what is the equivalent to a drink coaster) and saw the physical manifestation of pollution on the part of the sheet I always slept on. A clean white on every part but for where I slept. So, tonight marks the first day I shower at night. I imagine everyone gasps after reading the last sentence. Seriously, if you could gasp, the world would smile a little bit more. Maybe not even gasp at that sentence but sometime in the day after reading this? …I now require you to gasp five times today. Thanks.

It’s terribly easy for me to sweat since I am not accustomed to this weather. What’s worse is my love for spicy foods, at dinner I can be sweating profusely. But there’s a chili concoction that makes rice taste so much better, I can’t help it. It sometimes kicks back with that damn heartburn but at least I brought Pepto! I really don’t mind eating rice here everyday. I have become used to it (and the spice definitely helps kick it up a notch). Lately I’ve actually been eating much more vegetables than meat. I’m pretty sure it’s a texture issue for me. Being a spoiled American, all the meat is usually bone-free and soft enough for me to shovel in. But here it is so rough (probably because the meat doesn’t pass through any machines), I have to use my teeth to grind it off the bone (I’ve flossed so much in my life). Not easy, remember, I’m also using chopsticks. But I am consuming much less meat, more vegetables, even tofu (which can be quite good, at least better than in the US), and a lot of spice (four days straight of taking Pepto).

However, to be honest with you, I went to a buffet here a couple weeks ago and consumed the most meat in a single meal than I ever had before. It was 78 Yuan ($12) for Brazilian BBQ (lamb, chicken, beef, bacon, fish, oysters), sushi made to order, fried rice, noodles, bunches of other delicious meats. Oh, and it included beer and wine. I would have stayed longer to rob them blind of their silly “alcohol included” notion, if I didn’t have class.

A friend mentioned chicken feet and her disgust for them. I may not share the same disgust but I cannot figure out the appeal to eat them. I have had chicken feet twice and there are just too many little bones and not enough meat for me to consider them a viable food.

I went shopping the other day to look at the clothes and prices, they’re basically in lieu with the quality. Being that I really don’t care, I try to find the cheapest I can. What is disappointing is that I’m back to an XL. Not that I’ve gained weight, but that the Asian XL is the same size as an American Medium! Seeing everyone so skinny here just makes me feel more fat. I’ve checked out one western style gym and have to look at another one close to my house before I can start this new round of weight loss. Oh, and my darling, beautiful mother is sending me protein to help the cause! I would buy some here but it seems to be more expensive and I worry about the quality (remember that Chinese milk recall?).

There are many pictures to take still. I need one more poster for my room for it to be complete and then pictures will be taken. I also have many from a few parks/hills that I visited. My connection isn’t the fastest so it is difficult for me to upload them in a timely manner but please don’t hesitate to click that little link (on the left) to my pictures! I will try update in a post if pictures were uploaded. As an added perk, if we’re Facebook friends, you’ll see more pictures!

Walking down the street, I passed a Pomeranian looking up at me from a bucket carried by two women. You can imagine what I was thinking. I really don’t know what else you want me to add to that… it was cute? Or maybe you want me to say, “it’s so small, there can’t be enough meat on it”.

No real animal cruelty in this post, but I did see some good ol’ human stupidity. I passed two young males getting ready to leave a hotel on their scooters but one was taking a longer time to turn his scooter around. I looked into his eyes to see a dead, glossed over look, clearly too drunk to do much. His friend was supposedly going to drive by his side and help him home. Seeing the drunk wiggle his way down the street makes one cringe just thinking what could happen.

I had a nightmare come (partially) true the other day. I have visions watching a news report about rats (apparently a slow news day) and that they can swim large distances. Which, of course, leads to them swimming up into your toilet. No-brainer, I’m sure many of you thought of it right away once I mentioned “rats”. Well, I go into the first floor bathroom to see a rat in the toilet bowl (squat toilet), it sees me and makes a B-line to the drain, disappearing. You can imagine the full part of my nightmare. But if you can’t, just think of a rat coming in for a nibble while you’re least expecting it.

Street-side BBQ

I expect the blog posts will decline after awhile as things become more of a routine, the pictures as well. “Oh, you only have four people on a motorcycle? You could have fit 12.”

After a week or so of being mildly sick, I finally got some heavy-duty “western medicine” and drowned the illness out.

I played soccer for the first time in more than 11 years… I was sore for a week and my sore throat came back. The worst part is that I only played 20-some minutes. This game was like ping pong (on a separate note, my ping pong skills are at an all-time high), back and forth, I was getting so terribly winded. Luckily, someone was injured and I was able to breath and down a bottle of water. I’d like to think I did pretty well, I was the only one who slide-tackled (maybe because we were playing on turf but it’s my favorite soccer move) and I had a pretty good corner kick (though I think it was mostly luck). Our team won, but I left at half because there were no orange slices.

I went back to the pharmacy when my sore throat came back and the pharmacist (/doctor) gave me an anti-biotic and an herbal medicine. The combination worked and I have been feeling very well recently!

There are many bicycles outfitted with sidecars or saddlebags and filled with everything from fridges to fruit (some have cages stuffed, I mean STUFFED, with ducks, geese, or chickens. The saddest was a dog that could not move.) The ones filled with produce are usually pulled to the side and surround main street corners. Some are filled with sugar cane, which explains some of the bad teeth here. There are two kinds of sugar cane, black and white. I do not know of the difference. It’s available regular or boiled. One does not swallow it but simply bite off a piece, chew it for the liquid, and spit out the fibrous remains. I suppose I should supply a picture… twill be forthcoming.

I am still doing my introduction presentation (which I started when I arrived). In this I show pictures of my family, parents’ house, North Dakota plains, crops, badlands, and animals. After seeing this, kids want to visit. I show them the snow and they still want to visit. I tell them it can get down to -51°C, not wanting to explain wind chill and that it actually is even colder, and they no longer want to visit… I tell them this is why there’s not many people in ND. One child asked if I liked China (like I would say no), I turned the question to him regarding America and he didn’t like America because it was cold. I then had to explain that the temperature can get up to 42°C in the summer (though it’s an extreme, it’s the best way to keep their attention). One of the animals I show is a mountain lion and I sometimes explain it is not just a “lion”. The next picture is a bear (…they wander into ND), when I asked them what it was, one replied, “mountain bear”.

Though all of the pictures get a good response from the students the biggest reaction is when the food slide comes on (not even a field of endless sunflowers and clear blue sky can beat a hamburger). Yes, there are two slides about food in my introduction slide show. I had to one slide because the first was so popular. The response is so big that I often consider taking video of all the classes reacting to the slide… children are grabbing the air towards the screen, yelling out hànbǎobǎo (hamburger in Chinese) or pizza, licking and smacking their lips, groaning because they’re hungry and can’t eat the food before their eyes.

The students still say I look handsome and now I have learned to reply, “Thank you, you beautiful girl” or “handsome guy” (in Chinese, of course). I know that they like my eye color, because everyone has brown eyes here. But the teachers have now been calling me fat. Because, in Chinese terms, I am fat. I really couldn’t care less, it almost gives me motivation to lose more weight… almost. I think when the weather clears up I will do more exercise.

The weather has been miserable! Constantly gray skies, cold, not raining but somehow everything’s wet (I’d call it an annoying sprinkle). It has been better lately if not because I am just feeling healthier.

One of the most stark differences from back home is the noise. EVERYTHING makes noise. It is clearly mandated by law that if someone pokes a scooter the generic alarm, that everyone has, must go off. After living ten minutes outside of town of 2,500, one should clearly understand why this is such a big difference.

There is a list of topics that foreigners are told not to bring up in China. I have brought up most. Few teachers know of “previous events” and I’m sure fewer care (one commented that China had to do what it did). A teacher remarked about how she sees the good guy always getting hurt on the news, which makes me think it’s showing her not to stand up for a cause… but that could just be my political skew.

There are many global concerns regarding China these days (if you really want links to the BBC articles I write of, let me know or just search!). It may overtake the US in “scientific output” by 2013, as the most powerful economy by 2030, and it is beefing up it’s military spending . Recent international polls have indicated fear of this new power coming into play (though the fear is from the West, the poorer nations seem to welcome it). What I have found interesting is that two Chinese leaders have completely different views on how the remarkable progress of China is to continue. Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao has said that for China to not lose the substantial gains it has made, democratic reforms must be carried out. But, the controlling Communist Party of China number two man, Wu Bangguo has said that for China to stay the course the party must hold steadfast or else the country will be thrown into disarray. Frankly, I think China will turn democratic eventually (how or when is of no concern to me, it is in my contract not to interfere with China’s domestic affairs and I plan not to) and that it is of no interest for China start any wars.

It has become normal to see a whole skinned dog hung up to display it’s meat. Then the next day a half or fourth still hanging. I have eaten many parts of many animals, just about everything inside a pig and cow, pigeon, a chicken cooked in a pig’s stomach (I’m looking forward to donkey). I have been lucky not to get any food illness yet, though my other American friends here haven’t been as lucky. Though I haven’t seen any stalls with insects or really odd things to eat. It’s mostly fruit vendors, barbeque grills (which I have come to greatly enjoy) and the occasional “everything from a chicken” display box.

Though animal cruelty isn’t fun to witness it is much better than what I saw last week. Imagine the sound of a car going over a speed bump at a good speed (not fast, but definitely not slow). Well, that sound, along with an accompanying “ai ya” from a woman next to me is what I heard. When I looked I saw a child getting caught underneath a car after being struck by it. My heart started pounding, I got light-headed, it’s one of those moments where I put myself in the victims place. Amazingly, with help from the people in the car the child was helped inside and taken off (I assume to a hospital). And for those of you wondering, I didn’t see any blood and there wasn’t a dent on the car.

Can You Hear the People?

I should have given more information into my past with China. I have been here once before with my college choir in 2008 but to the much bigger cities of Beijing, Shanghai, and Xi’an. In Beijing we befriended some hostesses serving us. We gave them English names and they gave us Chinese names, thus, my Chinese birth. I feel very fortunate to have landed in a very different part of China this time. I am extremely glad to experience this small south-western town (of six million). The six million (almost ten times the population of ND in one city!) includes many towns in the area, so the crowd I am dealing with here isn’t exactly that many but, it still is quite large.

The weather on Saturday morning called for a sweatshirt and jeans (mind you, I was wearing a jacket 3 days prior and had to take out its fleece lining 2 days ago). By the end of the day I was sweating while in shorts and a t-shirt. Speaking of clothing, I have found out that I am able to teach in any clothes anything besides sandals that don’t have a back strap. Though I feel quite drab compared to the other teachers, I will do whatever it takes to ward off the heat and if that means simultaneously embracing my American image, so be it.

I went to walk a hill with my waiban and her friends and because of the sun, I wore my aviator sunglasses… fast forward to me walking home after teaching, as: 1) the only white person downtown 2) the only person in shorts and t-shirt (many were still wearing jackets because it’s still cold to them) 3) wearing sunglasses at night. I have never had so many people stare for so long. On top of this, I got lost and my phone died. After 30 minutes of walking (and a failed attempt to tell a taxi driver my destination), I figured out I just went the wrong direction on the correct street.

A noticeable trait of some Chinese people is not filtering out comments that may seem rude or crass to many westerners. I received two blemishes on my forehead since arriving. Well, one of my more attractive colleagues approached me, looked at me, then at the blemishes, and does a concerning, “Ohhh, ohhh”. A little later says, “It’s ok. You still handsome.” It was too late, the damage was already done (single tear). I made up a pithy excuse like, “It’s the air, or germs on my hands and then touching my face.” I later figured out she has a boyfriend (which, in China, means she’s practically married), so after a night of crying myself to sleep, I have gotten over the incident.

I set up a bank account with the help of my waiban (harder than getting into the country!). While walking a bit and commenting on the subject she said she has to yet reimburse me for the flight from home. I did not think that the first leg of my trip was covered but I will certainly accept it! It is a very nice surprise.

With my being adopted in China I should have known that I would unexpectedly adopt someone as well (totally makes sense), I now have a 13 year-old brother. I don’t speak Mandarin and he doesn’t speak English. It should work out very well.

I am of the belief that Americans want to have cities like the Chinese have (but much, much cleaner. Perhaps a Chinese city with OCD): little shops everywhere you go, things in walking distance, no need for a car. But I also think that the Chinese want what Americans have… wealth. We all dream the American Dream! (Huzzah!)

It’s the little things in life that one has to appreciate sometimes. Like the ability to flush toilet paper down the drain. I have only ran into this circumstance once in Honduras when they actually told us not to do it and there was a atrocious odor emitting receptacle next to the throne. Two of my friends have run into this problem in China and I am, luckily, not one of them!

I have obtained a bike! The foreign teacher before me, and perhaps the one before that, has left behind a bike for my free-time pleasure. Now I can get even more looks as the only white guy on a bike. Hopefully I can find three others who want to ride it with me so people won’t stare as much.

The reasoning behind hard beds has been figured out. The answer: cheap massages ($10 for back and feet for about an hour) I don’t find it comforting at all, I have never been one to enjoy massages. But I found out that this store also does (drum roll) hot cupping! It’s basically an elaborate way to give someone big embarrassing back hickeys… I’ll try to take pictures!

I hesitate to take pictures of my room as I am not fully settled in and my room needs some work yet. You will be notified if such an event presents itself.

My newest favorite food here is a steamed bun filled with a sugar and egg mixture, called: 流沙包 (liu sha bao). I’m guessing this is a negative calorie food like celery. (Pictures are up!) I have been enjoying many vegetables here that I don’t care for in America (like green/red peppers, mushrooms) but I hate celery internationally.

Eating in China is not for the weak of heart. Imagine eating chicken with its head staring back at you (you can see little hairs protruding from the horripilated skin). The person next to you is chewing their food loudly (you swear it’s purely for your annoyance). Some believe that this chomping gives one more nutrients from the food. The meat isn’t de-boned at all, it’s cut up so one can pick it up with chopsticks, some pieces are all bone (chew carefully!). If you order water, it’s hot (though I have come to enjoy this, I drink a lot of water and, here, I’m not shivering after the meal). The Chinese believe consuming cold drinks is bad for you, though, some are served cold (you won’t get hot beer). I have not had any problems accepting any of these topics so far (though sometimes I really do think people are smacking their food specifically to annoy me).

Perhaps the only time I was upset, saddened was when I saw (what I assume was) a tired dog being dragged by someone on a bike. Though my view was quickly obstructed by a car, so perhaps I didn’t see all of what was happening.

So far, life here is very good. I don’t have to cook. I work 80 minutes weekday nights, with one day off, and 4.5 hours on weekend mornings. It may sound boring to give the same presentation multiple times a day for a month at a time. But there is a huge benefit, without the need to organize weekly lesson plans (like most of the people I met in Shanghai have to do) I have a lot of free time. This can be discouraging sometimes, especially when you can’t communicate with anyone or read anything. In my room, I could be any where, it often feels like I’m back home in the states. But I try not to spend too much time locked away, I am not xenophobic in any way! It is only the start of my third week  here, it’s challenging. I know everything will get easier. But sometimes I go up to a day without showering… one whole day! Oh, the humanity!

The teachers at this school can make up to 2000 Yuan (around $300) a month. Much better than the minimum wage in Guangxi, 710 Yuan ($110). To make the job attractive to westerners, wage is much higher. One can compare their wage with Bill Gates and feel worthless or with the minimum wage here and feel pretty good.

If I could find an Almond Joy and a Dr. Pepper I’d feel even better. A Double Delight Oreo and Milk Tea will have to do! (I know you’re wondering, double delight = peanut + chocolate.)

Only Yu(lin)

I don’t know why, but I’ve got a song by The Platters (Only You) stuck in my head… listen!

Not much has happened in the last three days. Alas, my mind still rambles a dilapidated shanty. Let us take this winding road.

I’ve met a bunch of teachers in the school but I only remember a handful of names as there are around 80 total (3,000 or more students!). I think I could only point out a few: Kelly, River, Livia, Elane, Susan, Anna, Helen, Cindy. Of course, these aren’t their real names, only English names. Just as my Chinese name is 阿龙 or ā (prefix  used  for kinship  terms to  indicate familiarity) lóng (dragon). Just as it’s easier for me to remember their English name, it’s easier for some to remember my Chinese name.

The driving in China is truly remarkable. Everyone honks just to let another driver that they’re passing or if the pedestrian doesn’t stop, they may be hit. I think the only time I haven’t seen drivers honk is when foreigners are crossing the road. There is no right of way (U-turns into oncoming traffic is usual), the lines are only suggestions (if there’s no oncoming traffic, one can go across the double yellow to pass), and crossing the street is like real-life Frogger. The jaguar of the road is the electric scooter, it makes less noise than a person talking. At night this crafty beast is barely seen with the untrained eye when some don’t have their lights on.

I passed by some street food that looked delicious so I paid 2.5 Yuan for a thin dough that was fried and filled with a little meat, chili sauce, and bit of (what I think is) lettuce. It tasted like a fresh Chalupa from Taco Bell but with real meat.

I’ve grown ill with a cough and runny nose in the past few days. Since I am in China I’m doing it their way. I went to the pharmacist to find one customer who knew English! But she only knew, “Hello”. So, I coughed in front of them and they gave me two items, one pills, one liquid (I was hoping for the pills). A man in suit and tie, whom I presume was the boss, wove a song with deep docile tone, “Pain?” I responded in prose form, “No.” And of course, I get the liquid. It tastes like a concoction of brown sugar, ginger, and ginseng. On top of this I was told by my waiban to go get a tea of sorts to also help combat the illness. The tea is worse than what I got at the pharmacy. I struggle to describe it… perhaps a highly concentrated Earl Grey. It’s extremely bitter.

My phone from the states doesn’t have any data connection. For reasons unbeknownst to me, it defaults to 8:23 AM on January 1^st, 1970. It’s on airplane mode constantly which means it’s as good as an Apple computer.

I had my first day of teaching yesterday. It was a grueling 80 minutes! 20 minutes at four different classes introducing myself and some Q & A. Oh, the horror of doing this four times during weekdays! It’s even longer during weekends so, because I have today off (I’d probably collapse if I didn’t), I have already drafted a petition and a letter to my senators for these “working weekends” to be redacted from the contract. The best part of this experience was going into a classroom and hearing (and understanding) a girl in the front row say, “handsome American” (in Mandarin). Though, during a break a boy walked by and said, in English, “handsome boy.” So, now I’m beginning to think their perquisites for handsome only includes eyelids with folds… I’ll still take it (like a boss).

Sometimes in China there’s a smell that wafts by that makes one swear it smells like someone couldn’t find a toilet in time. But then one thinks, “No, one wouldn’t do that in public! It must be something else.” Well, let me preface this story by saying that babies have the apparent privilege to relieve themselves wherever and whenever they would like, sans diaper, though parents may help them out with an aiming hand. I was walking along one night to look over at a mother squatting over a step, holding her child, with his pants down in an equally squatting position. I can’t say for sure what was going on, as murky shadows can play tricks on one’s eyes. But, as the child was hoisted to the street I believe that he was not quite (oh, how would one put this…) finished. As much as I would like to have taken a picture, I thought it might have been in bad taste and, without hesitation, I continued on.

I don’t understand why most of the beds in China are hard. If it’s supposed to be good for one’s back, why don’t see any older people doing somersaults along the street? Well, I won’t stop complaining until I do! I did, however, find elders dancing in the park. I have some video of this I will upload, though this is anything but unique in China. People go to the parks here to dance or do Tai Chi, anything just to move and get exercise.

A happy side note, I found out I could watch NHL games live online! It’s the little slice of gooey comfort I needed.

Nan Ning to Yulin (Home)

A lot has happened in the past four days.

I am living on the sixth floor of a seven story school building. I have one room (in desperate need for something on the wall), two closets, two desks and chairs, one hard queen sized bed (they’re all hard in China), two windows, and one bathroom that doubles as the shower (the whole bathroom). The water heater in my bathroom is solar-powered but the fifth floor has an electric water heater when the sun isn’t shining. Whatever the temperature is outside, that’s what it feels like inside. It’s currently around 50, so I’ve got my heater propped up on a chair, sticking my feet out of the covers to stay warm.

My waiban’s ex-husband lives on the floor below me and does the cooking when we eat in. There’s also the laundry washer on the fifth floor.

I should mention that I have been adopted. My waiban/adviser/boss/owner of the school has become my Chinese mother. She is very well traveled, speaks English superbly, and has a great sense of humor (likes to call every girl “me nu” though I don’t know if that’s how it’s spelled, it means beautiful girl. She does this because she says, “Everyone likes to be called beautiful”). She has taken me to meet a lot of her friends while treating me to numerous meals (including a Tibetan restaurant, though they wouldn’t take our Groupon discount, they didn’t say why). The first day she helped me get some basic hygienic supplies and groceries. I said my first night was cold, so she bought me a heater. I needed a phone and bus card, she got me one. On top of that, she’s responsible for my actions in China. She has been telling me stories of foreigner mishaps over the years, one of the lessons was to make sure a Chinese woman doesn’t have a boyfriend first.

I’m trying to figure out the layout of my town. So far I know how to get to a supermarket, a “western cuisine” restaurant (complete with pan flute versions of all the popular hits), and KFC/department store (if I take the bus).

I’m still a bit confused with my job. The school has seven small branches around the city with different teachers and students at every branch, they usually attend whatever is closer to home. I will be moving throughout the schools. I will be working five days a week, off Monday and Tuesday, but I won’t see the same class again for a month. Which means I can do the same lesson plan for a month and it will be to new students each time.

I’m getting used to people staring at me. I kind of like it. Ok, I love the attention. In fact I may feel insulted if people don’t stare at me when I get back to the states.

Speaking of attention, I was whored out today. At my private school, we don’t have the traditional type of enrollment, we have to go to students. So, I stood outside two different elementary schools, with other teachers and other private schools, while the classes were ending and handed out pamphlets about our school. I even had a couple children walk past and say, “bu yao” (don’t want). A lot of the children were shy, eyes grew big when they saw me, they nudged and pointed, I heard a couple sighs by girls (one said I had beautiful eyes, others keep saying “very handsome”… no big deal), some said a passing “hello”, and a few wanted to talk all day (though in limited capacities). I have to do the same thing tomorrow.

The thing pissing me off right now is singing cats… they sound like two children apathetically saying a drawn out “wow”.